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29 July 2007 @ 10:24 am
It looks like I am finally moving out of the University and living in my own house. I am not sure if it really is a step forward, because I am still in Canberra which is still in Australia which is still hell as far as I am concerned.

I might not have the internet for a while.
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: temptation- new order
28 June 2007 @ 11:27 am
If I was in Serbia today:
It would be Видовдан (Vivovdan), the most important Serbian holiday.

Видовдан is not a happy day, it is for lithurgy and requiem for all victims of Kosovo (beginning in 1389 ‘till the present day!), a bloody war resulting in the death of many serbians, held on the plain of Kosovo in southern Serbia.
Видовдан marks Serbia's identity, revisiting the principles for all Serbian generations from the Kosovo Battle until the present. Like a constant reminder, if you will.

To be honest, every time this day has come around I still wish I was back there. It was really the only one day I would be with all of my family, sitting in church, having late lunch at mamas, singing Видовдан (this really old Gordana Lazarevic song I was taught when young). I know it is sad, to rather be in Belgrade mourning the dead rather than be happy and "normal" here. My perception of how much better things are in Serbia has become really warped!~!!!
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: baby turns blue- virgin prunes
20 May 2007 @ 05:25 am

Critics have described this portrayal of troubled singer Ian Curtis as "spectacular" and "outstanding".

Reviews from Cannes premiere 17 May 2007:
It received a standing ovation at its premiere on the Croisette. - TelegraphHas earned a rapturous reception in Cannes - BBC
There was a palpable buzz on the Croisette today - Guardian
Control won the title of Best European Film at the festival"

It's not going to be released here until October.
I hate Australia.
13 April 2007 @ 12:16 pm

These things have been posted everywhere around the city near where I work, there is even one on the bin next to where I have lunch!

The reason I am interest is because a lot of people in the online Canberra community I've been reading talk about Chrome, and one playlist said they played Warsaw by Joy Division a while back !!!!!!!! For once I am considering going to this club and looking for people.

As you might tell I don't have a lot of friends (on this blog I have none!) because of the bad times in High School and College. When I first got here it was Year 7 and I could barely speak English, not even understanding the language that the classes were taught in or the people my age spoke was absolutely terrifying. They had to put me in a special class in Dickson College to teach me English. Going to school in the same building as special needs children made me isolated on the campus grounds but also with relation to the other students. I was miserable because I knew they all thought that I was mentally retarded, but because I didn't have the English at my disposal then I couldn't tell them otherwise. I felt hopeless and alone.

Getting a place at the Canberra University was a help though, I can live here on my own and catch public transport whenever I wish. I have just never really made amends with the part I was given in Year 7 because by the time I could speak English competantly, it was time to graduate and go to college.

But I am thinking of going to Chrome and seeing who else goes to these things. If I feel uncharacteristically confident, I just might.
Current Location: Uni computer labs
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Current Music: ricky's hand- fad gadget
10 March 2007 @ 12:00 am

Serbia won the Eurovision Song Contest in Helsinki last night. The winner was Марија Шерифовић singing "Molitva" (for you Aussies, it means 'prayer'). A lot of people in my home country are going fanatical because apparantly this Serbia country just recently in the same year got its shit together as a sovereign nation, or something ;) !

In other news: I have an icy pole right now, it's red :)
Since I moved away I couldn't really care less about Eurovision, and I think most people here are of the same mind. It's funny because I could quite easily tell when people in my residency hall turned their televisions onto Eurovision, because their laughter and high-voiced imitations would stir me from my reading, over and over again.

It seems to me that Eurovision is very much an interest that is poseban kultura (culture-specific, the right term here?). I can remember in Serbia when I was 9 years watching Dana International sing 'Diva' and thinking it was the greatest thing ever (a reaction comparable to 9 year olds in Australia and the show Australian Idol I think!). But with the move to Australia after I turned 12 came the criticism and eventual dislike of my new surroundings, the teenage angst, and eventually this re-examination of trivial things back in Belgrade.

It is true that my personal distaste is mostly aimed towards pop culture in general, having recalled so many Serbian girls my age trying to look like Kristina Kovač and only learn English to keep up with the Western fashion magazines. But Eurovision is certainly an event which is able to be laughed at across the world (well maybe only outside the Europe region!) The end result is always so over-produced, tacky.. well I don't really need to elaborate on this as much for those readers who have seen it :)

I suppose the point of saying all this is that it has saddened me a lot more than it probably should. Because I can't relate to the old me who squealed with excitement the lyrics to 'Diva', my old home in Belgrade now seems a lot further away than before. True, maybe I have just grown out of pop music and cheesy television shows with age. But this distance and this time means I simply can't remember what it felt like to be that patriotic and involved in something for my country, even if it was as silly as Eurovision.

And last night when I heard the laughter of my fellow students, laughing at Eurovision, I knew they were laughing at me. 9 year old me, back in Serbia, caught in the Eurovision hysteria. Maybe I should've been angry, but instead I felt guilty and depressed because I knew I would be laughing too.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: here to stay- new order
23 February 2007 @ 08:41 pm

To the left, you will see the natural habitat of Сенка in Belgrade, Serbia.
To the right, her current enclosure where she was transported to in October of 2001.

I don't have anything else to say about that just now, other than I am Сенка and you can come to your own conclusions from my little angry drawing!

I've been living at the University for a few weeks now, and I can't decide whether I like it any more than I disliked the College or the High School that Mama picked for me here. Canberra is a very small town. I have recently learned that in Belgrade they have heaps of alternative clubs and concerts that stay open until sunrise (being too young at the time of living there to know). Here there is bar32, a closet-sized dancefloor with the same faces there every weekend.

I have been told over and over that Sydney is bigger, better. That doesn't assist with not knowing anywhere to stay, anyone to talk to or any understanding of what to say, (a bit like 12 year old Сенка arriving in Canberra for the first time!) I don't want to try and go to Sydney. I want to have my chance back of living in Belgrade and growing up in the town where I grew up, and understood how things worked.

I hate this place.
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: caring is creepy- the shins